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| Relieved... |
| 10.05.04 (10:08 am) [edit] |
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Gee... I SMS Seraph today to thanks him for his concern for me as colleague. After our few SMS, I got so relieved. It's like a big rock off my shoulder. At least, we both get to know where we stand... we will be colleagues only.
Read the Bible just now and throughout the SMS... God spoke into me... God healed me to some extent.... Praise the LORD!
Wow... now I am much refreshed and much happier now. Especially, one load off my shoulder. A good start!
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| Hang Over... |
| 10.04.04 (8:18 pm) [edit] |
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This Friday, my gals are going out with me... they will be drowning me till I am drunk. Gee... It will sure be a great nite out. We will be going to drink all the way till we knock off... These few weeks all of us have some unpleasant encounters and experiences.
Let's look forward to it....
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| Prayers and more prayers... |
| 10.03.04 (9:40 am) [edit] |
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Psalm 70
For the choir director: A psalm of David, to bring us to the LORDs remembrance.
1
Please, God, rescue me!
& nbsp; Come quickly, LORD, and help me.
2
May those who try to destroy me
& nbsp; be humiliated and put to shame.
May those who take delight in my trouble
& nbsp; be turned back in disgrace.
3
Let them be horrified by their shame,
& nbsp; for they said, "Aha! We've got him now!"
4
But may all who search for you
& nbsp; be filled with joy and gladness.
May those who love your salvation
& nbsp; repeatedly shout, "God is great!"
5
But I am poor and needy;
& nbsp; please hurry to my aid, O God.
You are my helper and my savior;
& nbsp; O LORD, do not delay!
Tonite, very upset. Asked Eric to pass Seraph messages that I will least wanted him to know. I am scared to let him come and hurt me again. I do not care he still have interest in me or not. On the other hand I know I still have feelings for him. I have not gotten over him. So I do not want him to show concern to me, especially when he does not like me anymore. I am torn... I know. God... I really could not focus in all that I do now. I lost appetite, could not sleep well and could not concentrate on my work. Yet, I could not let Seraph know the truth. Cos' why would he need to know all these. I just need time and lots of time to get over the past. God... heal me... I really need you to ease my heart. It's painful and it's bleeding! Please take him away from my heart especially when he wants me to stop loving him too. I knew I am going to cry my way to sleep again.
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| God... My prayers to you again... |
| 10.03.04 (4:45 am) [edit] |
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Had a rather tough morning... I din eat much. I attended my Pilates as usual. I workout like I was going to kill myself. I think I know the reason why I am doing this.
I spoke to Him. I told Him what I wanted Him to do for me. I do not want any more blows from Seraph. I want God to take Him away from me. I want God to take the man I always love dearly in the past away from me. I wanted a Godly man. Not a man who do not know what he wants and ended up hurting others and himself. Father, you sent me to this school although I fought hard not to enter this school. I already had a hard time to adjust my heart back to my usual self. As I obviously knew that he was somewhere physically near me. I want to extract him out. Since Seraph wanted badly to have me out of his life. Father, I know I love Seraph. But I only love the him before. Not the man after the breakup. I treated the Seraph now as my colleague only. I control my feeling for him now. No other special affliation as I do want to delude myself unknowingly again, just like how he said me before. Father, please heal me... Take him out of my heart since he is not the one. Remove the thorn in me, heal me and let me continue my life in the fresh new journey you have plotted for me. If he is meant to be the man in my life, he should be a Godly man who will know how to handle and behave in a more Godly manner. He will not say things that will hurt others and as a result hurting himself too. Father, also extract the thorn in him. He do not want me anymore but yet he could not seem to let go too. Heal him. He's torn too. I do not hate this man anymore. I had forgiven him but I will love this man no more. Even if I do, that's the man in the past I love and not him anymore. May he meet a even better woman than me. Seraph, since you wanted to bury ashes, then bury them and leave the dust to the wind. Let it be gone with the wind. Time is what we both need to forget each other. Please do not come back to me... Just let me remember our sweet moments and not reminded of the sad ones. Just like how cool you let go of me... While I am tormented and torn apart. I am learning to let go... I need lots of time... Years in fact. But in the end, I will reach there... With God in me, I will be healed and you will be too. So leave us in peace and we will be able to achieve this.
Oooohhhh.... How i miss the beach at East Coast! A place I love to go to just sit there and listen to the waves and enjoy the breeze.... I love to sit there for hours alone. To cry there... To let out my feeling... A place to recuperate from any heart problems... I will make sure this urge will come true soon... I always wanted to catch the sun rise... but no chance... must be very beautiful...
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For the Month of December
To Do List:
- Catch at least 2 movies
- Gym sessions once every week
- Bible sharing every week
- Every Tuesday nite out
Schedule:
December 2004
I was Missing In Action
Movies Caught:
1. Blade Trinity
2. National Treasure
November 2004
I was Missing In Action
Movies Caught:
1. Polar Express
2. The Incredibles
October 2004
I was Missing In Action
Movies Caught:
1. Wimbledon
Schedule:
September 2004
1: Teacher's Day
4: 1-wk Vacation Starts
5: Pilates[11]
5: Pilates[11]
6: Orchard(Sushi Tei)
8: Raffles Place(Sakae Sushi)
10: Hair Spa
11: Dira’s Wedding
12: 1-wk Vacation Ends
12: Kick-boxing[1]
17: West Mall(Sakae Sushi)
19: Kick-boxing[2]
26: Pilates[1]
26: Kick-boxing[3]
Movies Caught:
1.Garfield
2.The Terminal
Schedule:
August 2004
1: Pilates[6]
3: Play at DBS Art Ctr-Woman in Black
4: NIE(Collect gown)
6: Gym & Movie
8: Pilates[7]
9: National Day
10: Gym & Outing
13: NIE Graduation(SIS)
15: Pilates[8]
17: Yes! You stand a chance Seraph(2003)
17: Holland Village(Michelangelo's)
21: Submit Application(SIM)
22: Pilates[9]
23: Seraph's DOB
24: Orchard(DOME)
28: Teacher's Day Dinner(Suntec)
29: Pilates[10]
Movies Caught:
1.House of Daggers
2.The Village
3.The NoteBook
July 2004
I was Missing In Action
Recuperating from the broken Relationship ...
Movies Caught:
1. King Arthur
June 2004
I was Missing In Action
28: 1st day in School
Movies Caught:
1. Home on the Range
2. Shrek 2
3. Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban
4. Chronicles of the Riddick
May 2004
I was Missing In Action
Movies Caught:
1. Van Helsing
April 2004
2: CT EL Obs(3)
4: Kickboxing[4]
5: CT Maths Obs(4)
6: CT EL Obs(5)
9: Good Friday
10: Brother's Birthday!
9: Good Friday
11: Kickboxing[5]
14: Sup Meets CTs
16: Last Day of Pract II
18: Kickboxing[6]
24: EED200 Report
25: Kickboxing[7]
Movies Caught:
1. 50 First Dates
2. Koma
March 2004
1: Gym Session
7: Kickboxing[12]
8: Mum's Birthday!
8: Gym Session
13: 1-wk Vacation Starts
14: Kickboxing[1]
19: My Birthday!
21: Kickboxing[2]
21: Outing(Seraph)
21: 1-wk Vacation Ends
23: CT Maths Obs(1)
24: CT Sci Obs(2)
26: NIE Sup Obs(1)
28: Kickboxing[3]
30: NIE Sup Obs(2)
Movies Caught:
1. The Haunted Mansion
February 2004
1: Hari Raya Haji
2: Outing(Seraph)
3: EED200 Grp Report
4: Outing(Seraph)
6: NIE Pract II Posting
8: Kickboxing[8]
9: HDB(Get keys)
13: Visit new house
13: Pals Gathering
14: Valentine's Day
15: Kickboxing[9]
16: NIE Bazaar
17: NIE Bazaar
17: ECM202 Quiz
18: NIE Bazaar
20: ECE202 Ind + Grp
20: ECM202 Ind
22: Kickboxing[10]
23: 1st Day(Pract II)
26: Outing(Seraph)
29: Kickboxing[11]
Movies Caught:
1. Peter Pan
2. Big Fish
January 2004
1: New Year
4: Kickboxing[4]
6: Appointment(Hair)
7: Outing(Seraph)
11: Appointment(Hair)
11: Kickboxing[5]
12: NIE Sem 4 Starts
12: Outing(Seraph)
13: Outing(Seraph)
14: NIE Bazaar
15: NIE Bazaar
16: NIE Bazaar
16: Outing(Seraph)
18: Kickboxing[6]
21: CNY Eve
21: Outing(Seraph)
22: Chinese New Year
23: Chinese New Year
25: Kickboxing[7]
28: NIE Pract II Briefing
28: Outing(Seraph)
Movies Caught:
1. The Last Samurai
New Year Resolutions:
- Continue to think positive
- Have at least an overseas trip
- Have more relaxations than work
- Eat healthy and exercise regularly
- Be more successful in my life and work
- Be more joyful and loving at heart than 2003
- Find my Mr Right and be more down-to-earth
- A new home, A new working environment, A new me! A fresh start!
For the Month of August
To Do List:
- Catch at least 2 movies
- Gym sessions once every week
- Bible sharing every week
- Every Tuesday nite out
Schedule:
August 2004
1: Pilates[6]
3: Play at DBS Art Ctr "Woman in Black"
4: NIE(Collect gown)
6: Gym + Movie
8: Pilates[7]
9: National Day
10: Gym + Outing
13: NIE Graduation(SIS)
15: Pilates[8]
17: "Yes! You stand a chance, Seraph"-2003
17: Holland Village(Michelangelo's)
21: Submit Application(SIM)
22: Pilates[9]
23: Seraph's DOB
24: Orchard(DOME)
28: Teacher's Day Dinner(Suntec)
29: Pilates[10]
Movies Caught:
1.House of Daggers
2.The Village
3.NoteBook
July 2004
I was Missing In Action
Recuperating from the broken Relationship ...
Movies Caught:
1. King Arthur
June 2004
I was Missing In Action
28: 1st day in School
Movies Caught:
1. Home on the Range
2. Shrek 2
3. Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban
4. Chronicles of the Riddick
May 2004
I was Missing In Action
Movies Caught:
1. Van Helsing
April 2004
2: CT EL Obs(3)
4: Kickboxing[4]
5: CT Maths Obs(4)
6: CT EL Obs(5)
9: Good Friday
10: Brother's Birthday!
9: Good Friday
11: Kickboxing[5]
14: Sup Meets CTs
16: Last Day of Pract II
18: Kickboxing[6]
24: EED200 Report
25: Kickboxing[7]
Movies Caught:
1. 50 First Dates
2. Koma
March 2004
1: Gym Session
7: Kickboxing[12]
8: Mum's Birthday!
8: Gym Session
13: 1-wk Vacation Starts
14: Kickboxing[1]
19: My Birthday!
21: Kickboxing[2]
21: Outing(Seraph)
21: 1-wk Vacation Ends
23: CT Maths Obs(1)
24: CT Sci Obs(2)
26: NIE Sup Obs(1)
28: Kickboxing[3]
30: NIE Sup Obs(2)
Movies Caught:
1. The Haunted Mansion
February 2004
1: Hari Raya Haji
2: Outing(Seraph)
3: EED200 Grp Report
4: Outing(Seraph)
6: NIE Pract II Posting
8: Kickboxing[8]
9: HDB(Get keys)
13: Visit new house
13: Pals Gathering
14: Valentine's Day
15: Kickboxing[9]
16: NIE Bazaar
17: NIE Bazaar
17: ECM202 Quiz
18: NIE Bazaar
20: ECE202 Ind + Grp
20: ECM202 Ind
22: Kickboxing[10]
23: 1st Day(Pract II)
26: Outing(Seraph)
29: Kickboxing[11]
Movies Caught:
1. Peter Pan
2. Big Fish
January 2004
1: New Year
4: Kickboxing[4]
6: Appointment(Hair)
7: Outing(Seraph)
11: Appointment(Hair)
11: Kickboxing[5]
12: NIE Sem 4 Starts
12: Outing(Seraph)
13: Outing(Seraph)
14: NIE Bazaar
15: NIE Bazaar
16: NIE Bazaar
16: Outing(Seraph)
18: Kickboxing[6]
21: CNY Eve
21: Outing(Seraph)
22: Chinese New Year
23: Chinese New Year
25: Kickboxing[7]
28: NIE Pract II Briefing
28: Outing(Seraph)
Movies Caught:
1. The Last Samurai
New Year Resolutions:
- Continue to think positive
- Have at least an overseas trip
- Have more relaxations than work
- Eat healthy and exercise regularly
- Be more successful in my life and work
- Be more joyful and loving at heart than 2003
- Find my Mr Right and be more down-to-earth
- A new home, A new working environment, A new me! A fresh start!
For the Month of August
To Do List:
- Catch at least 2 movies
- Gym sessions once every week
- Bible sharing every week
- Every Tuesday nite out
Schedule:
August 2004
1: Pilates[6]
3: Play at DBS Art Ctr "Woman in Black"
4: NIE(Collect gown)
6: Gym & Movie
8: Pilates[7]
9: National Day
10: Gym & Outing
13: NIE Graduation(SIS)
15: Pilates[8]
17: "Yes! You stand a chance, Seraph"-2003
17: Holland Village(Michelangelo's)
21: Submit Application(SIM)
22: Pilates[9]
23: Seraph's DOB
24: Orchard(DOME)
28: Teacher's Day Dinner(Suntec)
29: Pilates[10]
Movies Caught:
1.House of Daggers
2.The Village
3.NoteBook
July 2004
I was Missing In Action
Recuperating from the broken Relationship ...
Movies Caught:
1. King Arthur
June 2004
I was Missing In Action
28: 1st day in School
Movies Caught:
1. Home on the Range
2. Shrek 2
3. Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban
4. Chronicles of the Riddick
May 2004
I was Missing In Action
Movies Caught:
1. Van Helsing
April 2004
2: CT EL Obs(3)
4: Kickboxing[4]
5: CT Maths Obs(4)
6: CT EL Obs(5)
9: Good Friday
10: Brother's Birthday!
9: Good Friday
11: Kickboxing[5]
14: Sup Meets CTs
16: Last Day of Pract II
18: Kickboxing[6]
24: EED200 Report
25: Kickboxing[7]
Movies Caught:
1. 50 First Dates
2. Koma
March 2004
1: Gym Session
7: Kickboxing[12]
8: Mum's Birthday!
8: Gym Session
13: 1-wk Vacation Starts
14: Kickboxing[1]
19: My Birthday!
21: Kickboxing[2]
21: Outing(Seraph)
21: 1-wk Vacation Ends
23: CT Maths Obs(1)
24: CT Sci Obs(2)
26: NIE Sup Obs(1)
28: Kickboxing[3]
30: NIE Sup Obs(2)
Movies Caught:
1. The Haunted Mansion
February 2004
1: Hari Raya Haji
2: Outing(Seraph)
3: EED200 Grp Report
4: Outing(Seraph)
6: NIE Pract II Posting
8: Kickboxing[8]
9: HDB(Get keys)
13: Visit new house
13: Pals Gathering
14: Valentine's Day
15: Kickboxing[9]
16: NIE Bazaar
17: NIE Bazaar
17: ECM202 Quiz
18: NIE Bazaar
20: ECE202 Ind + Grp
20: ECM202 Ind
22: Kickboxing[10]
23: 1st Day(Pract II)
26: Outing(Seraph)
29: Kickboxing[11]
Movies Caught:
1. Peter Pan
2. Big Fish
January 2004
1: New Year
4: Kickboxing[4]
6: Appointment(Hair)
7: Outing(Seraph)
11: Appointment(Hair)
11: Kickboxing[5]
12: NIE Sem 4 Starts
12: Outing(Seraph)
13: Outing(Seraph)
14: NIE Bazaar
15: NIE Bazaar
16: NIE Bazaar
16: Outing(Seraph)
18: Kickboxing[6]
21: CNY Eve
21: Outing(Seraph)
22: Chinese New Year
23: Chinese New Year
25: Kickboxing[7]
28: NIE Pract II Briefing
28: Outing(Seraph)
Movies Caught:
1. The Last Samurai
New Year Resolutions:
- Continue to think positive
- Have at least an overseas trip
- Have more relaxations than work
- Eat healthy and exercise regularly
- Be more successful in my life and work
- Be more joyful and loving at heart than 2003
- Find my Mr Right and be more down-to-earth
- A new home, A new working environment, A new me! A fresh start!
For the Month of August
To Do List:
- Catch at least 2 movies
- Gym sessions once every week
- Bible sharing every week
- Every Tuesday nite out
Schedule:
August 2004
1: Pilates[6]
3: Play at DBS Art Ctr "Woman in Black"
4: NIE(Collect gown)
6: Gym + Movie
8: Pilates[7]
9: National Day
10: Gym + Outing
13: NIE Graduation(SIS)
15: Pilates[8]
17: "Yes! You stand a chance, Seraph"-2003
17: Holland Village(Michelangelo's)
21: Submit Application(SIM)
22: Pilates[9]
23: Seraph's DOB
24: Orchard(DOME)
28: Teacher's Day Dinner(Suntec)
29: Pilates[10]
Movies Caught:
1.House of Daggers
2.The Village
3.NoteBook
July 2004
I was Missing In Action
Recuperating from the broken Relationship ...
Movies Caught:
1. King Arthur
June 2004
I was Missing In Action
28: 1st day in School
Movies Caught:
1. Home on the Range
2. Shrek 2
3. Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban
4. Chronicles of the Riddick
May 2004
I was Missing In Action
Movies Caught:
1. Van Helsing
April 2004
2: CT EL Obs(3)
4: Kickboxing[4]
5: CT Maths Obs(4)
6: CT EL Obs(5)
9: Good Friday
10: Brother's Birthday!
9: Good Friday
11: Kickboxing[5]
14: Sup Meets CTs
16: Last Day of Pract II
18: Kickboxing[6]
24: EED200 Report
25: Kickboxing[7]
Movies Caught:
1. 50 First Dates
2. Koma
March 2004
1: Gym Session
7: Kickboxing[12]
8: Mum's Birthday!
8: Gym Session
13: 1-wk Vacation Starts
14: Kickboxing[1]
19: My Birthday!
21: Kickboxing[2]
21: Outing(Seraph)
21: 1-wk Vacation Ends
23: CT Maths Obs(1)
24: CT Sci Obs(2)
26: NIE Sup Obs(1)
28: Kickboxing[3]
30: NIE Sup Obs(2)
Movies Caught:
1. The Haunted Mansion
February 2004
1: Hari Raya Haji
2: Outing(Seraph)
3: EED200 Grp Report
4: Outing(Seraph)
6: NIE Pract II Posting
8: Kickboxing[8]
9: HDB(Get keys)
13: Visit new house
13: Pals Gathering
14: Valentine's Day
15: Kickboxing[9]
16: NIE Bazaar
17: NIE Bazaar
17: ECM202 Quiz
18: NIE Bazaar
20: ECE202 Ind + Grp
20: ECM202 Ind
22: Kickboxing[10]
23: 1st Day(Pract II)
26: Outing(Seraph)
29: Kickboxing[11]
Movies Caught:
1. Peter Pan
2. Big Fish
January 2004
1: New Year
4: Kickboxing[4]
6: Appointment(Hair)
7: Outing(Seraph)
11: Appointment(Hair)
11: Kickboxing[5]
12: NIE Sem 4 Starts
12: Outing(Seraph)
13: Outing(Seraph)
14: NIE Bazaar
15: NIE Bazaar
16: NIE Bazaar
16: Outing(Seraph)
18: Kickboxing[6]
21: CNY Eve
21: Outing(Seraph)
22: Chinese New Year
23: Chinese New Year
25: Kickboxing[7]
28: NIE Pract II Briefing
28: Outing(Seraph)
Movies Caught:
1. The Last Samurai
New Year Resolutions:
- Continue to think positive
- Have at least an overseas trip
- Have more relaxations than work
- Eat healthy and exercise regularly
- Be more successful in my life and work
- Be more joyful and loving at heart than 2003
- Find my Mr Right and be more down-to-earth
- A new home, A new working environment, A new me! A fresh start!
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